Movie Review: The Mummy

The Mummy its a reboot and it's supposed to be the big kick off start of the recently announced dark universe, which is simply put, a cinematic shared universe featuring all of the universals classic monsters.

Unlike the previous films, this reboot is passed in present day as we follow Nick Morton (Tom Cruise) as a military officer and Chris Vail (Jake Johnson) as his sidekick, as they take advantage of their missions to basically steal whatever they can to sell on the black market, and accidentally they end up finding the tomb of an ancient Egyptian princess who was supposed to take the throne, but her father had a son and he became the heir. As you can imagine, princess Ahmanet didn't like that news, at all, so she made a pact with the god of death to take the throne, but before she could complete the ritual necessary to achieve that end, she was stopped and… you guessed it, mummified.

Nick is Joined by Jennifer Halsey (Annabelle Wallis), an old friend/lover and they decide to take the Mummy to London. So thanks to them, she is brought back to life and intends to finish what she couldn't and all hell breaks loose. And we have a movie. Now, since this is a non spoiler review I can't say anything else but the plot, but if I'm being honest, there's really not much more to say...

Tom cruise is my favorite actor and I basically watch everything he's in because he's that rare actor that actually only chooses great projects that he truly believes in. So even though I wasn't really that excited for a present day reboot of the mummy, I thought this would be great because, well, if Tom Cruise chose to be in it, it must be at least good. Well, I was wrong. I'm not going to say this is a terrible film, but it's really far from are good. And I honestly cannot think of a single reason why Tom Cruise decided to be in this. Not a single one! - Cut to a huge pile of Money.

Anabelle Walis, who is an archaeologist who works for Russel Crows secret Monster hunting organization, is by far the best character in the film and that's not saying much, On the other side, Tom cruises character is actually the worst because they made him a very cliched and dumb character, that spends the entire film asking: what? What? What? But just as bad, Jake Johnson´s character is there as the comic relieff, but instead of being funny it makes you want to bemummifiedd. – alive! And Russel Crowe is there just to make expositionn and connect the entire franchise. Now this is not the actors fault, but just the characters that are painfully bad,

As for Sofia Butella, well, I loved her in kingsman and Star Trek, she truly is amazing, but here i just simply couldn't see her as the mummy, no matter how great she was. And you may not know this, but she started as a dancer for Madonna and Rihanna – well Sofia not the mummy – so at the end they took advantage of that and they make this huge dance number with everyone and – I´m just kidding, can you imagine?!

Now the action is… okay, but its something we´ve already seen one hundred times before. And if you expect this film to be scary and thrilling and make you jump out of your seat – you will have better luck expecting Pixar to make a horror film. There's not a single scary scene in this film, and what's worse is that I think they didn't even tried.

Well you now what, I actually was wrong! There is something quite scary in this film, and that's the dialogue. They try to make a lot of jokes but the humor is as dry as a desert, so it falls horribly flat. And there's some lines that just makes you go really?! It's really terribly written.

Also, I don't think Russel Crowe has a single normal line of conversation, he's always monologuing about the origins of literally everything.

The tone is a huge mess, because they can't decide if they want to make an adventure, a romance, a thriller, a comedy or an action film, going true all these genres, sometimes in the same scene. And they make some

very weird decisions with the plot and some of the characters that makes you think they wrote the script in five minutes. They had the chance to take an incredible mythology, premise and cast and make something quite special and new, but instead they wen for… honestly, I don't even knew what they were going for.

So, in the end the film is indeed fast paced but it fails at everything it tries to do, and we end up with a big failure. So if you want to take my word, just stay home and watch the old mummy films instead. I least they were fun.

So for the verdict, I´m going to declare the mummy guilty of being a failure and a life sentence in a tomb, with a score of - 55 out of 100.

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